


Quick Fix

by Hazel_Athena



Series: Handyman AU [3]
Category: The Magnificent Seven (2016)
Genre: Ficlet, Fluff, Humour, M/M, Modern AU, handyman, needless dramatics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 22:44:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11519049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazel_Athena/pseuds/Hazel_Athena
Summary: Faraday wakes from an unscheduled mid afternoon nap on the deck to find Vasquez looming over him with his hands on his hips and a mutinous expression on his face.





	Quick Fix

**Author's Note:**

  * For [decoy_ocelot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/decoy_ocelot/gifts).



> For the ever rad Decoy_ocelot who's celebrating a birthday right around now, and without whom this series would probably never have existed. True story, y'all, I know nothing about home maintenance and Decoy gave so many suggestions for the first two fics, you don't even know.

 

Faraday wakes from an unscheduled mid afternoon nap on the deck to find Vasquez looming over him with his hands on his hips and a mutinous expression on his face. "Wha -?" He mutters, scrubbing at his eyes on the off chance that when he opens them again Vasquez will either be gone or at least look a lot less inclined to commit murder.

No such luck. He blinks and there Vasquez is, still scowling. The only difference is now his arms are folded over his chest instead of resting at his sides. Faraday yawns. "Darlin', what is it?"

Vasquez's scowl deepens, and he flexes his shoulders like he's getting ready for a fight. When he finally does speak, his voice is clipped and precise in the way it only gets when he's barely managing to keep a lid on his temper. "What did you do?"

"I don't know?" Faraday replies, genuinely confused. As far as he's aware he hasn't done anything in recent memory that would piss Vasquez off. "Could you maybe give me a hint? All I've done today is come out here to work and - oh shit."

Abruptly coming completely awake, Faraday sits up and glances frantically around for his laptop, breathing a sigh of relief when he sees it safely resting on the cushion of the patio chair that's the twin of the one he's currently sprawled in. It's happened on more than one occasion that he's come out here to work with the thing balanced on his stomach and woken up from an accidental catnap to find it knocked to the floor in his sleep. At least this time it seems he'd had the sense to move it to safety before conking out. 

"Whew," he says, and the rapid pounding of his heart begins to slow now he knows there's no crisis at hand. Or at least no crisis that he thinks he's responsible for, he determines belatedly. One glance up at Vasquez makes it obvious that whatever's bothering him has nothing to do with the operational status of Faraday's computer. "Er, right. What was it you were talking about?"

Vasquez huffs out an annoyed breath through his nose, and gestures for Faraday to follow him. "Come with me," he says after Faraday's properly on his feet, bad leg not giving him any trouble or anything. "I want to show you something."

Still confused but unwilling to risk Vasquez's wrath given the mood he's in, Faraday does as requested, trudging along after his partner as he stomps over the remainder of the deck and through the sliding door that leads into the brand new shiny kitchen of their brand new shiny house. 

Faraday steps inside with a sigh, his eyes taking a moment to adjust to the light difference, and spots Vasquez over by the double bay kitchen sink, glaring down at it like it's personally offended him, possibly by saying something really terrible about his mother. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong yet?"

Uncrossing his arms, Vasquez crooks a finger at him in an unmistakable 'get your ass over here' gesture. Biting back a sigh, Faraday does so. 

"Y'know," he grumbles as he comes to a stop next to Vasquez, "unintentional though it might have been, I was enjoying that nap and I don't much feel up to playing twenty questions with you. Could you please just use your words and tell me what the hell's gotten under your skin?"

Vasquez's expression softens slightly at Faraday's tone, and he's not quite as forceful when he points at the sink this time. "It's better if I show you," he says decisively. "Turn the tap."

"Okay?" Faraday says dubiously. Reaching out he twists first the right hand nob and then the left hand one. Very noticeably, no water comes out of the faucet either time. "Huh. That's not supposed to happen."

"You don't say," Vasquez says dryly, and when Faraday turns to look at him there's the faintest hint of a grin curling his mouth. "Especially given that it's not just this tap, it's every single one in the house."

Knowing full well Vasquez would only say that if he'd personally checked all the taps, Faraday doesn't bother asking if he's sure. Instead he levels the faucet in front of him with a glare of his own. "That's not good. The stuff in here is all brand new."

A thought occurs to him. "Maybe it's not just us. It could be the whole neighborhood is out right now."

Vasquez shakes his head, some of the exasperation coming back to his face as he does so. "I already checked. There's nothing reported online, and Robicheaux was out in his front yard when I first came looking for you. He assures me he and Billy's water pressure is fine."

"I'll just bet he did," Faraday mutters darkly. If he wasn't one hundred percent convinced that their next door neighbors were sickeningly in love with each other even after twenty years of marital bliss, he'd be concerned for Vasquez's virtue where the more talkative of the two was concerned. "Probably offered to let you come over and see for yourself." 

"Guero," Vasquez says mildly, and Faraday flaps a hand in acknowledgment.

"Yeah, yeah, you'd never leave me for a theater professor even if his husband didn't scare the piss out of you. I know, I know, I was listening the first eighty times." Shoving such thoughts out of his head, he focuses back on their more immediate problem. "So what do we do about this then?"

Vasquez shrugs. "Honestly? I was hoping you'd be able to tell me you'd done something without realizing the inevitable consequences and I'd be able to fix it once I knew the source of the problem."

Faraday stares at him for long enough that Vasquez begins to squirm under his scrutinizing gaze. "Well," he says icily, "ignoring the fact that you are absolutely going to be doing some excessive grovelling in the near future to make up for that assumption, I'm sorry to have to inform you I haven't touched jack shit that I shouldn't have. Asshole."

"Lo siento, querido," Vasquez says contritely, and at least he has the common decency to sound like he means it. "I just don't understand what's happened. Like you said, the house is brand new. There shouldn't be anything wrong with it."

"So, what? Rather than suspecting a possible manufacturing defect you just up and decided it was me?" Faraday lets his glare intensify. "Not nice, darlin'. And by that, I mean you might find yourself sleeping on the couch tonight. Pray tell me what logic lead you to this conclusion. Did you figure it was never problems with the old house, and instead I, personally, was cursed all along?"

Vasquez has the audacity to look intrigued by this idea, and Faraday very seriously considers kicking him in the shin.

"Definitely the couch for you tonight," he growls, folding his arms over his chest for good measure.

"Joshua, no." An apologetic expression now gracing his features, Vasquez reaches out to make a grab for Faraday. "I'm sorry, guero, you know I didn't mean anything by it. I just -" He flaps a hand at the useless faucet. "These things were not supposed to keep happening."

He sounds genuinely distressed, to the point that Faraday finds his anger fading as quickly as it appeared. Sighing, he doesn't push Vasquez away like he'd been about to, and instead wraps his arms around the slightly taller man's waist, letting him lean in and sulk like he so clearly wants. "Alright, darlin', we'll fix it, I promise."

Vasquez mutters something unintelligible in response, and Faraday rubs his back soothingly, pretending for both their sakes not to hear the few words he can make out. "I'm not saying it's not an inconvenience, but this is not the end of the world. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you checked everything you thought might be the problem before you came to get me?"

"Sí."

"I figured. Okay," Faraday gives Vasquez one last pat and then moves to disentangle himself from the man's embrace. "Here's what we're going to do. Since you can't find the problem we're going to call an actual plumber - don't give me that look - and see what the deal is. Depending on how that goes, we'll either have the water back on fairly soon or we'll check into a hotel where we can at least shower while it's getting fixed. A nice one, maybe with a private hot tub in the room and everything."

Vasquez wrinkles his nose. "That could get expensive,  guero."

Faraday snorts. "Yeah, well, it's either that or we ask Rocks and Robicheaux if they'll put us up for however long, and I cannot tell you how little interest I have in letting that happen. I thought we were done with nosy neighbors when we left Emma and Matthew behind."

"You had lunch with Emma the day before yesterday," Vasquez points out. "We've hardly left her behind."

"Semantics," Faraday says, punctuating the word with an airy wave. "Let's just find out what the problem is and go from there, okay?"

"Okay," Vasquez agrees, and Faraday's relieved to see he already looks more relaxed. Apparently the notion of being proactive was all he needed to start feeling better.

"Right," Faraday says, pleased that they now have a plan. "Let's see who's open today." 

*****

Later, after a plumber who works Sundays has been found and the issue has been determined to be a broken water main, Faraday reclines back in the massive king sized bed in the room they're renting and nudges Vasquez with his knee. He's pleasantly stuffed after a full course meal down in the hotel restaurant, and just the slightest bit buzzed from some truly stellar wine to go with it. With luck he'll be able to talk Vasquez into putting the massive bathroom tub to use with him in a little while, and then call it a night. "This really isn't that bad now, is it?"

Not bothering to look up from whatever it is he's reading on his phone, Vasquez grunts. "We're exiled from our home for the next three days. I'd hardly classify that as good, guero."

Rolling his eyes, Faraday nudges him again. "The only reason it's taking three days is because the guy needs to order in the parts to fix it. As soon as he has them it'll be easy peasy."

"That's assuming he does the job right," Vasquez replies, and it's at this point that Faraday's slightly foggy brain realizes he's up and googled 'how to repair water main breaks'.

"Oh no," Faraday says at this. "No no no, give me that!" Wrestling the phone out of Vasquez's hands he shuts it all the way off and then tosses it onto a nearby chair for added peace of mind. "Micromanaging lunatic. Come here."

"Joshua, give that back. I need to know how to fix it if this happens again!"

"It won't happen again," Faraday assures the menace of a man who's now pawing at his chest in a bid to escape. "You heard the plumber, whoever laid the main used shoddy materials at one point. This guy is going to use brand new stuff and everything will be fine."

"You don't know that," Vasquez disagrees. "What if it's your last house all over again? I can't go through that a second time, guero, I will _die_."

"And people think I'm the over dramatic one," Faraday sighs. Resolving to tell Emma all about this the next time he sees her, he shakes Vasquez a little to make sure he's paying attention. "I firmly believe this house is going to be fine. Plumbing aside you had a hand in almost every piece of its construction, and we both know you're too insane to have overlooked anything."

"But what if I did?"

"Then we'll move again," Faraday replies, blatantly disregarding the infeasible nature of such a plan, "and we will keep right on moving until we find somewhere that isn't going to make you break out in hives every time it makes a funny noise."

Vasquez is quiet for several seconds, enough that Faraday's momentarily alarmed he might actually take him up on this offer. Then he snorts. "That is a completely ridiculous suggestion."

"Darlin', this whole conversation is completely ridiculous." Faraday assures him. "The house'll be fixed up in no time and that'll be the end of it. I promise."

"Hmmph," Vasquez says helpfully.

Not to be swayed, Faraday cards a hand through his hair, keeping it up as Vasquez starts to settle. "Three days and then we can go home again. Try thinking of it as a mini vacation and enjoy it."

"Fine," Vasquez grunts, and Faraday releases a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "I suppose I can do that."

"Thank the fucking lord," Faraday says gratefully, so much so that he doesn't even flinch when Vasquez bites him. "Whatever, darlin'. It'll be worth it for both our stress levels."

In answer, Vasquez nips him again.


End file.
